


Simple Chocolate Cake

by FluffyFyuu



Series: Baking Stories: Stress Baking Edition [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Domestic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Roommates, Stress Baking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28215306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyFyuu/pseuds/FluffyFyuu
Summary: Jongdae bakes a chocolate cake - but instead of following a recipe, his mind is somewhere else entirely.
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin
Series: Baking Stories: Stress Baking Edition [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073693
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32
Collections: EXO Bakery - 2021





	Simple Chocolate Cake

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** Self-Prompt
> 
>  **Author's Note:** This might be the most self-projecting fic I ever wrote. May you enjoy the glimpse into the mind of a stress baker. I don't have a Minseok to hug and calm me though, sadly.

* * *

It has been five weeks since Baekhyun moved out to live with his boyfriend.

In contrast to Jongdae’s initial problem to feel comfortable around the bubbly and privacy invading red-head, the days without him feel strange now. Jongdae misses the familiar sounds of Baekhyun’s games, muffled enough through the walls to fall asleep late in the evening. He misses coming home from a boring lecture to be greeted with a boxy smile and brown eyes filled with sparkling playfulness - his partner in crime waiting for him to plan a prank on their hyung or Baekhyun’s too tall boyfriend. 

But where the living room would be filled with their laughter while they huddled close on the couch and schemed their mischief, there’s only the soft humming of the fridge in the kitchen reaching Jongdae’s ears now.

And now that Baekhyun isn’t around as much anymore, their movie nights more often than not consist only of Minseok and Jongdae. It means that instead of Baekhyun humouring the script, the movie doesn’t get interrupted as often and the atmosphere is calmer now. It also means that Jongdae’s heart doesn’t get a break on those nights - thumping away in his chest whenever his pretty hyung so much as glances his way.

He groans, slumping deeper into the cushion of the couch and wiping his face. Ever since his interview with Minseok, testing to see if Jongdae would fit as a roommate - Jongdae would feel his throat go dry at the beauty of the other. And when Minseok had shown nothing but gentle openness and patience with Jongdae, respecting his need for time to settle and get comfortable … Jongdae sighs. It was only natural to slowly fall for his hyung, to want to see him smile so brightly that his gums show and his adorable cheeks turn squishy. 

But such a lovely sight is rare these days. Two weeks ago, Minseok started working a new job located in a different part of town - which means his commuting takes longer than before. Now Jongdae’s the one waiting for Minseok to return after work, to welcome his exhausted hyung with a warm smile.

And when Jongdae thinks back to the previous evening, of holding Minseok in a comforting hug - his hands start to shake. Because his heart had hurt when Minseok had groaned about the tiring commuting time adding to his already stressful schedule, it had hurt so much that words left Jongdae’s lips without a thought.

“Then let’s move out, hyung. We can search for a flat closer to your work.”

“But what about you? Your uni-”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll manage.”

There was no response after that, only Minseok hugging Jongdae closer and sighing against his neck. Jongdae had felt his throat constrict, scared he might have said something wrong, but before his mind could tumble into a dark place, Minseok had hummed. The feeling of his chest rumbling softly against Jongdae’s had calmed his fast heartbeat like a soothing balm.

“Okay,” Minseok had whispered, “then let’s move out together.”

_ Together _ .

Jongdae’s mind has been circling around this word since Minseok agreed to move out. Together. Minseok automatically said he’d want to move into a new flat  _ with Jongdae _ .

One part of Jongdae can’t help but see this as a sign, to allow his old hope to grow … but the other part is overpowering, stronger from all these months of suppressing and hiding his crush. It fills his head with dark words, that Minseok only agreed because Jongdae is simply a convenience - an already approved roommate, one Minseok knows is endurable enough to live with.

And an especially evil voice keeps whispering into his ear that when they found a flat closer to Minseok’s job, giving Minseok more time to breathe … that he’ll spend the newfound time with colleagues that will be charmed by Minseok as much as Jongdae is. That Minseok will find new friends, people that are more worthy of Minseok’s time than Jongdae is.

The thoughts have Jongdae’s heart thump heavily in his chest, anxiety rising high and causing his hands to feel clammy. He wipes his face again and gulps, feeling a lump grow in his throat. His hands are shaking, fingers jittery - begging to move, to do something, to distract himself.

And then Jongdae moves on autopilot, feet finding their way into the kitchen and hands opening cupboards, the fridge. Containers filled with flour and sugar, cartons of eggs and milk get placed upon the closest surfaces, clattering the kitchen counter and dining table.

There’s no recipe in Jongdae’s mind, simply his hands opening a package of butter that he forgot to put back into the fridge, the butter now warm and squishy. He puts it into a bowl, then beats it with an electric hand mixer. The feeling of the rhythmic whirring of the mixer is familiar and relaxing, shushing any lingering dark thoughts.

He adds sugar to the butter, beating until the mixture gains a lighter golden colour and then he cracks an egg into the bowl, mixing it into the batter. A few more eggs find their way into the bowl, adding a delicious eggy scent into the sugary air. Jongdae keeps beating it until the batter looks well combined, not too dense or fluffy.

When his hands grab a different bowl, Jongdae starts to hum a song he heard on the radio a few days ago and that won’t leave his head. It’s a dramatic melody, switching between lows and highs while Jongdae mixes flour, baking soda and salt into the bowl. Before he adds it to the egg-mixture, Jongdae lingers on a high note, allowing himself to switch the rhythm of the song and to change it into another one. He uses the break to preheat the oven, familiar with its quirk of getting hotter than the actual temperature he sets.

Then, his gaze lands on the cocoa powder Minseok uses as a substitute for his late night cravings for sweets and he gets the idea to turn the plain cake into a chocolate one. A fuzzy feeling settles into his chest at the memory of Minseok sipping his hot cocoa while being wrapped in soft blankets. Maybe the chocolate cake can cheer Minseok up when he returns from his long commuting? 

Jongdae can’t suppress his smile while he adds the cocoa powder to the flour and then to the creamy egg-mixture. The sound of the electric mixer reaches Jongdae’s ears once again. He feels himself get lost in the pattern of adding flour and milk alternately to the batter, humming a part of the song, then stopping and allowing the whirring of the mixer to fill the missing part of music. The process goes on until the flour mixture is empty and the batter has a nicely combined texture, now a dark, rich brown colour. Then Jongdae sets the bowl aside, starting to hum a different song.

He rummages through the cupboards, searching for their round cake tin. A victorious “Aha!” bubbles past his lips when he finds it, placing it next to the bowl. Then he makes use of the emptied wrapping of the butter, greasing the tin generously with it. He smiles while doing so, being reminded of his friend Kyungsoo giving him the advice not to waste the leftover butter that clings to the wrapping.

It’s how everything started, with Jongdae joining Kyungsoo baking a cake for a mutual friend of theirs in their teenage years. Kyungsoo didn’t really allow him to do much in the beginning, preferring to explain and show what to do than having to watch over Jongdae’s stubby fingers trying not to let the whisk slip out of his grip while failing at keeping the batter inside the bowl with his overeager beating motions. It was a mess.

One that improved over the years, with the side effect of Jongdae slipping into a relaxing state of mind while baking. His baking isn’t that chaotic anymore, too, though following recipes will never be Jongdae’s strength - his mind just enjoys throwing together ingredients, learning over the years which things go well together and which don’t.

His creations more than often are delicious now, the moments of a brave first taste being spit out belonging into the past. Amidst his fellow students, Jongdae is known to bring tasty sweets to stressful study sessions before important exams. In addition to baking aiding with the anxious state of his mind, seeing others smile and enjoying what he baked brings another joy into his life now.

The oven dings, signalling that it’s heated up, so Jongdae hurries to pour the batter into the greased tin. Scraping the last bits with a spatula, Jongdae hums in delight when he licks off the remnants on it before discarding it into the sink. Then, heat meets his face when he opens the oven, placing the tin inside carefully. He sets a timer on his phone, adjusting the time to the size of the tin and amount of batter in hopes it won’t burn.

That’s one of the only things he still struggles with.

Looking at the cake in the oven, Jongdae takes a deep breath, lingering for a moment before he starts to clean up the kitchen. It’s not necessarily something he enjoys doing, but it’s a part of baking and not only Jongdae but especially Minseok prefer a clean kitchen at the end of the day.

The time is sweetened by Jongdae humming again. It’s a slow and cozy song now, while his hands move on their own, scrubbing, wiping the bowls and kitchen utensils clean. After a few minutes, the sweet scent in the air intensifies, growing rich in chocolate aroma. It has Jongdae smile as he puts away the spatula and his smile grows even wider when he hears the front door opening and closing.

Keys rustle as they get placed onto the designated tray atop the shoe cabinet and then, the sound of steps coming closer. Jongdae’s heart thumps faster inside his chest, turning around with his lips curled into a bright smile.

“Welcome back, hyung~”

Minseok stands in the door, hair disheveled and shoulders slumped with exhaustion, but his eyes shine when they fall upon Jongdae. 

“Hi, Dae. I brought food.”

He steps closer, placing a bag with take out food onto the table and Jongdae feels giddy, recognizing his favourite dish. Opening his arms to offer a hug, Jongdae wants to meet Minseok in the middle but stops when he sees his hyung frowning at the sight of the cake in the oven.

Suddenly, Minseok’s eyes seem exhausted as well, darkened with shadows. Jongdae’s smile falls, arms lowering and something in his chest cracks when Minseok sighs.

“Did something happen?” Minseok looks at him, but Jongdae averts his gaze, uneasiness swirling inside his stomach. “Is everything alright, Jongdae?”

It should warm Jongdae, to know his hyung worries about him but everything he hears is an underlying tone of annoyance. The last remaining bits of positive energy from his baking spree vanish and the dark voice is back, cursing at Jongdae for stress baking once again and not only worrying but also burdening Minseok with how Jongdae obviously failed to cheer him up with the chocolate cake.

Cold dread crawls up his back, anxiety clogging his throat and shouting at him: That he’s just a burden for his hyung, that Minseok will realize he doesn’t want to live together any longer and that he shouldn’t waste his time on the bother that is Jongdae. That Minseok will leave.

Jongdae’s heart beats painfully, every thump feeling heavier and the lump in his throat grows bigger the longer he stares at the tiles of their kitchen floor. He feels Minseok’s gaze on himself, knows that his hyung will sigh again, too bothered with Jongdae’s antics, too annoyed at having to deal with him-

With the dark storm of thoughts paralyzing his mind, Jongdae’s body acts on its own will, turning around and fleeing into his room. He doesn’t hear Minseok calling his name, ears filled with the rush of his blood and his hands shaking too much to close the door of his room completely.

Inside, Jongdae’s feet walk circles just as his mind does. Thoughts about him being a failure as a friend and roommate tumble around, turning darker when he hears the sound of their cutlery drawer opening and closing, prone to creaking from the heavy use of it. It has his heart drop, throat feeling even more constricted - Minseok is finishing cleaning up the kitchen. Jongdae knows how much Minseok makes a point of having a clean flat and now, Jongdae definitely proved himself being a hell of a roommate for his hyung.

A failure.

A bother.

A-

His door opens and Jongdae freezes, staring at Minseok with wide eyes. Minseok looks worried, his eyebrows furrowed and he sighs when he spots Jongdae’s unsettled form.

“Dae? Did I say something wrong?”

His throat too constricted to talk, Jongdae shakes his head. Minseok did nothing wrong, Jongdae’s the one-

“Then what stresses you so much?” Minseok steps closer, slowly, eyes holding a warmth that keeps Jongdae from stepping back. “Is this about yesterday evening? About us moving out?”

Jongdae gulps and averts his eyes, hesitation and fear filling his veins, his heart heavy. His hands are clammy, words swimming inside his head, about their friendship breaking as they move into a new flat, about his wonderful hyung leaving ... Jongdae opens his lips, but nothing comes out when his gaze falls back onto the other. Minseok looks even more worried now, his plush lips forming a wobbly line and the sight has pain spread through Jongdae’s chest, not wanting to see his hyung so troubled any longer. 

Without thinking, Jongdae surges forward, throwing himself against Minseok’s chest, hiding his face in the other’s neck - yearning for comfort, for peace. He feels arms encircle his waist, pulling him closer and when Minseok hums in question, the walls that kept the storm locked inside his mind break. A weak sob slips past Jongdae’s lips.

“I-I’m scared, that-that you’ll realize what a-a bad friend and roommate I am, that-” Jongdae sniffs, feeling tears slide down his cheeks and he squishes his face closer into Minseok’s neck. “That you’ll find b-better friends than me, that, that,” A shaky inhale, “that you’ll leave me.”

“Oh Dae …” Minseok tightens their embrace, the warmth of his chest grounding against the quivering breaths Jongdae inhales. “You’re not a bad friend or roomie, not at all.”

One of Minseok’s hands starts caressing Jongdae’s back and the touch feels so soft, so affectionate that Jongdae’s heart stutters. He sniffs again, his own hands curling into Minseok’s shirt.

“You’re the best roommate I could ask for, Dae. You’re neither too messy nor too loud, you respect my privacy and more importantly, uh,” Minseok clears his throat, suddenly sounding shy. “you, uh, you’re the only person I want to return to after a long day. When I see your smile, I feel the exhaustion lighten and I can breathe again. I-I feel at home, but, like, uh, it’s not this flat, but, uh, you’re home?”

Jongdae’s breath is caught in his chest hearing those words. Eyes widened and too stunned to say something, Jongdae doesn’t resist when Minseok distances himself. Their eyes meet, a storm of emotions swirling in both of them. Then, Minseok raises a hand to caress Jongdae’s cheek, his touch cool against the warmth of his tear stained skin. Jongdae’s heart flutters.

“Moving into a new flat won’t change how I feel. I will keep returning to you, I won’t leave you, Dae.”

Jongdae gulps and nods, new tears spilling forth. But Minseok is there, wiping them away and holding Jongdae close, not leaving his side.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Let's hope they didn't forget the cake and that it didn't burn :'D


End file.
